Just For Parents - Potty Training

Potty Training On the Go: The Travel Potty
A travel potty is a potty chair or potty seat for out-and-about pottying. Is it absolutely necessary to have one? That depends... Read More

Potty Training Resistance and Refusal

Typically, children who show toileting refusal are three years of age or older, and will have regular bowel movements intheir diaper or in pants.

These children will refuse to defecate in a toilet. Sometimes children who are wearing underwear or training pants will ask for a diaper so that they can have a bowel movement. Often, these children have a history of constipation, which contributes to the toileting refusal.

To help your child overcome their refusal to use the toilet or potty, the following steps should be taken:

Ensure that your child is having normal stools. Seek assistance from your pediatrician, if necessary. Dietary changes that can help include adding fiber and decreasing dairy products.
Your child should have a step stool (and preferably two step stools on each side of the toilet) to help him or her be comfortable on the toilet. A higher step stool is preferred for more comfortable positioning of your child's feet.
Use positive practice with your child. He or she should practice going to the toilet, stitting on the toilet, etc., even if he or she does not defecate in the toilet. You should establish how many times a day he should practice, and how long he needs to sit (e.g. 3 times a day for 1 minute). This can be increased as time goes on (e.g. 5 times a day for 3 minutes). You can reward your child for cooperating with the positive practice.
Teach your child how to clean himself up after an accident. He or she should be as independent as possible in the clean up. Your child should also clean up the area if needed. The goal is for your child to not receive any attention (positive or negative!) from you after accidents.
You should use simple correction for soiling by asking your child to clean up after himself. Remain neutral and non-emotional when an accident occurs. Try to have your child do all of the clean up on his own. If you have to assist (e.g. clean the bathroom better), try to do it when your child is not around so he or she does not get any attention for it.
If your child refuses to practice using the toilet, he or she should be placed in a time out for non-compliance.
You do not have to give a consequence for soiling, since cleaning up after an accident is often enough of a negative consequence.

If your child is strong willed and difficult, it is important to not engage in a power struggle about potty training. If he or she shows toileting refusal behavior, it is important for you to transfer all responsibility to your child for his or her own toileting. The only responses you should offer are: 1.) Incentives for successes or charting of successes and 2.) Prompting your child to clean up after an accident.

Potty Training Packages
Trust the Experts: Top-rated products to get the job done!

Free expert tips for potty training success included with purchase.