My third son is now 5 days old. The sleep deprivation is in full effect after 9 months of already minimal sleep. Given that I’m now a third time, supposedly “experienced” mother, I knew what to expect, what to hope for, what is realistic, what is not. But it doesn’t matter. Not after five days of little to no sleep. All I want is for my newborn baby to sleep…preferably not on me, preferably more than one hour, and even more preferably….when I want or need him to sleep, given that I have two other children who need my time and energy. So off I go to Babies R Us to see what I can buy to help my baby to go to sleep.

Now I know that I’ve been through this before. I know that sleep aids generally don’t work…at least they haven’t worked in the past for my two other children. I previously purchased 5 sleep aids (between my first two sons), and none with success. But being an optimist, I think, this time it’s going to be different. The sleep positioner with a heart beat which costs $39.99 is a worthwhile investment. So I buy it, bring it home, open it immediately, and use it that same evening. Now if I had been the least bit rational, I would have gone in thinking that it was likely not going to work. But the sleep deprived irrational emotionality was in full power. And you know what….of course it didn’t work, as I sobbed that night with an infant who just wouldn’t sleep more than 45 minutes at a time.

So on day six, I go back to Babies R Us again. I had given away the vibrating/bouncy seat from my first two boys, so I go off to buy a new one. I find one that I like with different vibrating speeds, 12 different songs, a great animal theme, and so I pay out another $49.99 and head home. I immediately ask my husband to set the chair up, thinking this would be the panacea to my newborn baby’s lack of sleep and comfort. He would happily sleep in the vibrating/bouncy chair, just as his two older brothers did. So my husband sets up the chair, and I place my newborn baby in the chair. He loves it. He quietly sleeps. I’m in awe. But then after just 10 minutes, the chair shuts off. The baby wakes up, and I am left thoroughly confused as to why the chair has shut off. I restart the chair. The baby goes back to sleep. But again, after 10 minutes, it shuts off. I can’t believe it. I read the directions and find out the chair shuts off after 10 minutes to CONSERVE BATTERY POWER. I am now fully crazed. Are you kidding me? Has this company never met a newborn before? Did they even test this chair with a newborn? What kind of baby would remain comforted and/or sleeping after the 10 minute shut off? I know mine don’t. Does this company really think that mothers of young infants are prioritizing battery power over a baby’s (and mother’s) comfort or sleep?! I mean I’m all for conserving battery power, but only after my baby is soothed or sleeping. I write down the 1-800 number and vow to call them in the morning.

But at that moment I had bigger problems. It was 8:00 pm, almost bedtime and almost closing time for Babies R Us. So I go out again in the freezing cold weather as my husband looks on, thankful that my sleep deprived craziness is not being directed at him. Once I get there, I immediately head for the vibrating chair aisle. I check out all of the vibrating/bouncy seats again. None of the seats indicate how long they will vibrate. Knowing that I had been fooled the first time, I set out to make sure that I can see the directions on the inside of the box before I purchase the next one. A customer service representative comes to the aisle and asks if she can help (she must have seen what my intentions were). I tell her my story and explain that the boxes must be opened so that I can ensure that I am purchasing a chair that will NOT shut off after 10 minutes. After my emotional plea for her help, she takes out her knife and opens up several boxes for me. Just as I expected, most of the companies had produced chairs that would shut off in 10-20 minutes……………EXCEPT………… for Fisher-Price. YEAH for Fisher-Price!!!! They get it. They know that it takes more than 10 minutes to soothe an infant. They understand that an infant will not continue sleeping after 10 minutes if the vibration shuts off. So I purchase the Fisher Price Rainforest Bouncer for $49.99 and bring it home. My husband assembles the second chair of the evening, and we put our newborn son in the chair. He LOVES it (as do my other two sons who tried out all of the attached frills and songs). So after spending $140 on three different items in three different trips to Babies R Us, I have finally found something that can soothe my newborn infant other than me.

Now I would love to tell you a fairy tale ending to my saga…..that my newborn son slept like a champ in the chair for 4 hours that evening………but he didn’t. But you know what, he was soothed by the chair and he did sleep in it for up to an hour at a time. And you know, as a newborn mother, 1 hour is worth 24 at this stage……….


"Newborn" Mom

http://www.justforparents.com/

To purchase a Fisher Price Rainforest Bouncer from Amazon.com: